My big boys!

There is something qualitatively different about Jesse since he came back from his CA trip.

Truthfully, it does seem like being six is really a milestone of some kind. Since he came back, everyone's been commenting on how big he is, and seems, and how much he now is REALLY like his dad. J and I still have the same struggles, like him ignoring me, but it seems like a lightbulb has gone on for him in the sensitivity department. Last night when a few women from church were here and he couldn't sleep, I sat him down in the kitchen with milk and some peanut butter on bread. He said, "Thanks and oh, sorry to separate you from your friends."

Perhaps there's even a new level of confidence in him as he runs around with his friends outside--he's been squirting the neighbor boys with water guns. (Yesterday when he was done, he cleaned the outside of the kitchen windows using the water gun and rag with Luci.) Apparently, he's old enough to eat ice cream without asking his mom, too. Ike, a 10 year old, has now bought Jesse a few ice creams from the truck that comes everyday. It must feel so great to not have to go through me to get ice cream and to just have it bestowed upon him by a friend who's got money. Looks like I might need to talk to Ike about treating Jesse only once a week.

Sidenote: Luci has totally gotten in touch with her Luci/womanly/whatever charms and is now using them to get free lollipops and gum balls from shopkeepers. Several times in the last week now, I have said no to her requests on the way to shops. But somehow, the men offer her sweets from the counter or just tell her to take one. The first time it happened she came out of the shop and said in a sing-songy way, "HA, HA! The man gave me a lollipop."

Samuel is one amazing guy, and I have to say that that is an understatement. His favorite thing to do is to smile all the time. He's no longer the sleepy, slumpy baby. He likes to push up on his legs, and and watch Luci sing and dance for him--he loves her. He's developed a new squealy voice that is lovely and not too much. I can't get enough of him!

I love my kids--I really think they're great. I don't feel like I have lots of time for myself. That's obvious of course, and any parent knows that. But while I am finding them delicious, I also feel extremely disconnected from the journeys other people are on and it kind of makes me sad particularly where there are a lot of people suffering right now. There's huge health issues plaguing, and literally killing, family of friends of mine (not to mention that my Grandma is really old and I haven't seen her in ages!) and I realize I haven't connected with or even thought about these people much. It's a weird place to be--wanting to care for people but feeling like I'm at the whim of my own memory, which I know if overly affected by lack of sleep and busyiness. I don't like this fact. And on that note, I am off.