Whew! So this natural food thing is a tiring job! I seem to have a weekly cycle of cooking in a frenzy, whatever it may be--hummus, yogurt, granola, lentils, a pot of beans. Oh and then for bonus points, and because you gotta have a little pleasure, of pot of lemon verbana tea and some freezer cookies. It's all so inspirational, even for me, as I'm doing it but then I just have to confront my crankiness as I run into fatigue, a dirty kitchen and self-inflicted ADD as I'm trying give the processes of food-making and my children the attention they are due. (Jesse has a constant need for bathroom productions to be celebrated and Luci a need to be delivered from them because she's got diaper rash, her yelps of "Poo-poo!" are very distracting.) After all, I don't want to be the mom that instilled high respect for food into their brains but was always too busy. By the end of the week, I'm sick of dishes, cooking food, my skin is inflamed (I have excema on my hands), and I am resentful of my thoughtfully created leftovers. You see, some of these dishes were experimental in the first place and minimally pleasurable to begin with, so the second time they come around, it is purely an exercise in appreciation and not wasting. And hey, a bean is a bean is a bean. Wouldn't want to waste all that protein!
Sometimes it is clear that it is good and necessary to leave my obsessive thinking behind. But I think I am also learning to appreciate the value of food more.
With all the work, and starting closer to scratch, I am amazed to see the raw ingredients that God has given us. And the intricacies. Instead of being a bird watcher, I have turned out to be a student of grains and beans. It is amazing to see how many He has made, how beautiful they are, and what different nourishments they bring. Being with the beans and the grains (and I owe a mention to our organic produce box, the provider of adventurous fruits and vegetables) is definitely a way for me to connect with the Creator. I also have been more appreciative of home-produced/grown food because I'm realizing the process it is dependent upon. It is apparent to us, for example, how many ups and downs our CSA farm goes through. These ups and downs are related to the weather, soil, and labor help.
I'm also chewing on our over-abundance of food, and choice, in this country that is making us sick. Perhaps if we were more appreciative of our food, even in smaller portions, we could be more balanced. I've said that gluttony has just not been the same since my visit to Africa. It's hard to take in a pint of ice cream when you realize that there is something convicting about the disparity between the state of food here and in Africa. It's not really about my guilt related to how much I have and how much true hunger and starvation goes on there. While I have an abundance of food that many there would wish for, I wish for the purity of their gratitude and contentness. While in Kenya and Ethiopia, there was a repetition of food that is boring to most of us here in America. But stepping back I realize that while the issue for us here is "Can I experience satisfaction through this food? Is this what I want to eat?" and having that determine our state of gratitude, the situation in Kenya and Ethiopia seems a lot more like a simple reflex--with the provision of food, there is gratitude and not only a content belly, but also a content spirit.
It seems many lessons could be learned....
I've been reading The Poisonwood Bible the past couple of weeks which really keeps prodding me on this issue. It is something on my mind, ironically it seems, as this week has been a week of incessant pining for Ben and Jerry's coffee heath bar crunch and chocolate cookies. And the list goes on and on....as well as the struggle for satisfaction.
